The thing I hate the most, is when people judge others. Especially based on circumstances they know nothing about. And on the other hand, if you live your life like an open book, telling everyone everything about you at first meeting... is that an open invitation to be judged? Does it make it okay?
To that one, I don't know the answer, I don't live my life that way. I don't divulge much to people. I don't let many people in. I have walls, and I know I have walls. I'm sorry for that. Actually, I'm not sorry for that at all. There's a reason they are there and for now, I'm sure, they will be staying there.
I might be an outgoing person, I might be fun, and talkative. But actually knowing me? Not the easiest feat to accomplish. Especially, especially when I am still trying to learn who I am.
I know, I'm a mom, and a wife. I know that. But there are so many more layers to me, layers that you don't know about, and you don't even see. (You is being used as a loose, general term, not specifically meaning one person.)
No, I don't like to party. I don't like to go out to bars a lot and do the young thing. Yes I like to have a few drinks now and then, and love to hang out with our friends, but even that is few and far between. I spend my time with my family, with my kids. I'm a home body. I like people to come to me. Is that selfish? I don't know, but it's true. I love the comfort of my own house, the opportunity to open the door and usher you out. Not in a rude way, but in a need for my own time. I enjoy hosting. I enjoy cooking for multitudes of people, no matter how much it stresses me out. I love a full house, the sound of laughter, the sound of fun. Being in my own element is what I crave, and I'm incredibly uncomfortable when I'm pulled away from that. I've always been like this. I bet you didn't know that did you?
Masks are a complex thing.
A friend just posted on Facebook that sometimes the social networking site makes you dwell too much on the past. And I believe it to be true. While a lot of my friends on there are married with children, a lot are not. A lot are living the college life, playing the dating game, partying, no schedules, no one to answer to, free.
Do I sometimes find my mind wondering what that would be like?
I do. I won't lie. Don't confuse wonder with wish. I don't, not for a second, wish to be walking in those shoes.
I married my husband one month after I graduated high school and didn't think twice. I didn't think about what I thought I might miss out on. What I did think about was that I was doing what I'd always wanted. To be married. To start a family. To be in love. I do need to be loved, I thrive on it. Am I co-dependant? Maybe. But that's okay with me. I had my future kids' names picked out from the time I was probably 12 or 13. Levi and Emma. Which you obviously know, I didn't get my way. tsk, tsk. I am doing what I wanted to do. I'm a woman, a homemaker, a wife, a mother.
And while I'm still trying to figure me out, I am damn proud of who I've become thus far, and wouldn't change it for a second.
I told you in the disclaimer, I had no idea where this was going... I was right ;o)
xoxo
k.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
10 for Tuesday
- I very much am going crazy today. It's just not my day. Austin is sick with a cold. But even so, he's managed so smear a fruit snack on th TV. Have you ever tried to get a fruit snack off of a TV? Petey decided to add to my hysteria by chewing the floor molding. Very noticeable. We have to out process this house, and probably will now have to pay for that. Thanks Petey, you good Dog, you.
- I put Sydney's hair in her first little pony tail today. It's adorable. And I am a HAPPY momma! I've been waiting and waiting for this.... YESSSSSS!!
- Yesterday morning was so beautiful. The sun was shining, fairly warm out... just beautiful. By about 3:30 or 4:00 it started getting nasty, windy, and finally started raining around 4:45. We had a few snow flurries even. Not digging the weather. The wind drove the rain right into the side of the house all night long. It's still howling out there today. If the wind would die down, I think it would actually be a fairly nice day out. I am very ready for Spring. However, around here Spring= Wind. You'd think after 4 years I'd be use to it. I'm not.
- I've started cleaning closets out. We've decided to get a head start on cleaning, and packing so we will have as little stress as possible when the move comes. Today I hope to accomplish two more closets.
- Austin's surgery is only 22 days away. I have a near-breakdown every time I think about it.
- I'm thinking of hiring someone to take family portraits of our family before Bryant leaves. A girl I went to school with, Mary, does amazing work, and have thought about talking to her. I guess we will see how our money flow is the next couple months. We'd probably get them done right before he leaves in November.
- Sydney is sleeping a lot better during the nights the past week. She's only been waking once, and I am soooo happy about that! It's been a lot nicer not having to get up 4 times a night.
- Both of the kids are now napping. Sydney, I know, will wake up any moment. But I feel accomplished.... I am about to finish an Oprah that has taken me 3 days to watch. =)
- Bryant got his RIP down today from the commander for Greenland. (I cannot remember what that stands for right now.) It's just one step away from his Paper Orders. Still... this all seems surreal.
- I made a Weight Watchers Chicken Marsala the other night. And I'm really thinking about making it again tonight. It was THAT good. I wonder if Bryant will mind? haha!
xoxo
k.
p.s. Sydney is already waking up... TOLD YOU!
Monday, March 8, 2010
This & That... & pictures
So I lied a little bit. I thought Bry put in his bases preference list last time I blogged, but he hadn't. I guess there were a couple bases that we had on our list that he wasn't authorized for, so he held off to see if there was anything else we could do. So anyhow, he DID put it in this morning. SO, 120 days from today is the deadline. Hopefully we find out sooner, because I'm going to go nuts. =)
Austin came down with an icky cold yesterday. He was fine when he woke up yesterday, just a little whiny. By last night he really was not feeling well at all. We sent him to bed with Motrin and Tylenol hoping he'd feel better today. But he's worse today... so no good. He only woke up once last night needing to blow his nose & get more medicine, so that's good at least. Today he hasn't been feeling real well, but has still played with his toys and ate Mac N Cheese. He wanted it for breakfast and lunch. Nutty kid. I gave it to him though. I mean... at least he's eating! So hopefully he doesn't get any worse, and I'm hoping I don't catch it. I seem to catch anything the kids do, so I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Poo!
Bryant and I decided that I would start cleaning out closets, packing up what we don't use/need much and getting rid of what we don't use and don't want. So I started that today. I went through our closet and got all our clothes that we don't wear and bagged them up. Got old comforters and blankets packed up and in the car. I'll be taking that stuff to the Airmans Attic here on base. I also started going through Sydney's closet taking out all her too small clothes. I will probably keep my ear to the ground for someone who needs girl baby clothes and pass them on since I got so much given to me. Tomorrow I'm going to tackle the rest of the hall closet, along with the closet under the stairs. We were told we could go to the Recycling center here on base and get moving boxes for free. We'll just go buy tape and tape them back up.
When I move to Washington, looks like we will foot the bill for that. However, the AF will pay for our move from Washington to which ever base we get assigned to. So I guess it could be worse. At least we are only an 8 hour drive right now, so it shouldn't be too bad.
I forgot to mention before that Bryant's brother Jeremy and his wife Jenn came to stay with us over Valentine's weekend. It's the first time they've gotten to come here and visit us so it was pretty cool. We hung out around the house, the kids decided to get the flu the day before they came. Saturday we didn't want to stray too far from home since they were both still a little iffy... so we just went to the Bowling Alley and had lunch and bowled a game. By Sunday they both seemed to be doing somewhat better, so we trekked to Boise. We shopped around a bit, and also went to Chinese for our Valentine's Dinner. Bryant and I have a tradition that every Valentine's Day we go to Chinese, so we couldn't break that! (Guess I'm going to have to figure out how to get him Chinese food to Greenland next year huh?!?!)
Anyhow, I loaded pictures below, so enjoy!
Do you see that tooth?! It's more prominent now, but this is the only picture I have right now!
Eggs for the first time! She wasn't sure about them, but after she'd gum it and make a silly face, she'd yell for more!
My son is picking up my OCD traits...uh oh. Do you think he has enough Lightening McQueen cars? He was missing one or two in this picture, and Daddy let him get another one yesterday. However his new one, like his new Mater, changes colors in hot/cold water.
Beautiful Sydney!
Austin got to meet Robin from Red Robin. We went to lunch afterwards, and he was very bummed that Robin wasn't there!
Austin's Ninja face, and his painted frisbee. We were standing in line to get his name put on it. I loved it... I use to make these every year during Apple Blossom. He loved it!
Austin got to check out the back of an Ambulance
Austin met Scooby Doo too! Boy oh Boy he was SOOOO EXCITED!
Austin touched a snake. He wasn't too sure about it, and really didn't like it. He made me walk away really fast! I wasn't too fond of the head of it down there... it kept coming closer and closer... so I have to admit I was okay with walking away quickly. hahaha =)
She LOVES sticking her tongue out now. If you do it to her, she will copy you... so cute!
At Nana and Papa's. She was laying on the floor using my dad's slipper as a pillow...weird kid!
Silly little sideways smirk... SO CUTE!
Found Nana's nose to suck on! We have a picture of Austin doing this to Nana too!
Pretty Sydney!!
Look at how Handsome he is =)
Austin and his Nana
First time eating a cracker!
Playing together. So cute.
Austin wanted a cracker since Sissy had one too.
Petey. He's almost 5 months old now! Time flies!
She got his tail!
She loves pulling on his face, ears, tail... anything she can get her hands on. She thinks it's so funny. Him? Not so much.
Awww, tired girl with her Glow Worm.
With Auntie Chelsea and Uncle Chris.
First fight! I loaded these backwards, sorry!
Austin at the Wenatchee Wild game. He's howling.... too cute
Austin and his Unc. He was soooo into watching the Pre Game.
Grandma, Aunt Deb, and Mom. 3 Beautiful ladies. <3
At the Wild game. Sydney was actually watching!
Pre Game show... lit the ice on fire, and sparks were coming out of the tip of his Hockey stick... pretty cool!
Austin at Papa's basketball game. He got to stand down there and high-five the girls as they ran out onto the court.
Grandma GG with Sydney
Nana making her "grandbrat" giggle
My favorite picture of them. I love it.
Bowling. I win. =)
Austin bowling. When he did it this way, the ball literally went like .5 miles per hour. haha! He loved it though!
She's working on it! Going to be 10 months old this month, and still not really caring to crawl. haha..Spoiled much????? =) *Guilty*
Her hair is long enough for a clip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Baby blues. And yes I forgot to wipe her face. She's a doll.
Austin came down with an icky cold yesterday. He was fine when he woke up yesterday, just a little whiny. By last night he really was not feeling well at all. We sent him to bed with Motrin and Tylenol hoping he'd feel better today. But he's worse today... so no good. He only woke up once last night needing to blow his nose & get more medicine, so that's good at least. Today he hasn't been feeling real well, but has still played with his toys and ate Mac N Cheese. He wanted it for breakfast and lunch. Nutty kid. I gave it to him though. I mean... at least he's eating! So hopefully he doesn't get any worse, and I'm hoping I don't catch it. I seem to catch anything the kids do, so I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Poo!
Bryant and I decided that I would start cleaning out closets, packing up what we don't use/need much and getting rid of what we don't use and don't want. So I started that today. I went through our closet and got all our clothes that we don't wear and bagged them up. Got old comforters and blankets packed up and in the car. I'll be taking that stuff to the Airmans Attic here on base. I also started going through Sydney's closet taking out all her too small clothes. I will probably keep my ear to the ground for someone who needs girl baby clothes and pass them on since I got so much given to me. Tomorrow I'm going to tackle the rest of the hall closet, along with the closet under the stairs. We were told we could go to the Recycling center here on base and get moving boxes for free. We'll just go buy tape and tape them back up.
When I move to Washington, looks like we will foot the bill for that. However, the AF will pay for our move from Washington to which ever base we get assigned to. So I guess it could be worse. At least we are only an 8 hour drive right now, so it shouldn't be too bad.
I forgot to mention before that Bryant's brother Jeremy and his wife Jenn came to stay with us over Valentine's weekend. It's the first time they've gotten to come here and visit us so it was pretty cool. We hung out around the house, the kids decided to get the flu the day before they came. Saturday we didn't want to stray too far from home since they were both still a little iffy... so we just went to the Bowling Alley and had lunch and bowled a game. By Sunday they both seemed to be doing somewhat better, so we trekked to Boise. We shopped around a bit, and also went to Chinese for our Valentine's Dinner. Bryant and I have a tradition that every Valentine's Day we go to Chinese, so we couldn't break that! (Guess I'm going to have to figure out how to get him Chinese food to Greenland next year huh?!?!)
Anyhow, I loaded pictures below, so enjoy!
Do you see that tooth?! It's more prominent now, but this is the only picture I have right now!
Eggs for the first time! She wasn't sure about them, but after she'd gum it and make a silly face, she'd yell for more!
My son is picking up my OCD traits...uh oh. Do you think he has enough Lightening McQueen cars? He was missing one or two in this picture, and Daddy let him get another one yesterday. However his new one, like his new Mater, changes colors in hot/cold water.
Beautiful Sydney!
Austin got to meet Robin from Red Robin. We went to lunch afterwards, and he was very bummed that Robin wasn't there!
Austin's Ninja face, and his painted frisbee. We were standing in line to get his name put on it. I loved it... I use to make these every year during Apple Blossom. He loved it!
Austin got to check out the back of an Ambulance
Austin met Scooby Doo too! Boy oh Boy he was SOOOO EXCITED!
Austin touched a snake. He wasn't too sure about it, and really didn't like it. He made me walk away really fast! I wasn't too fond of the head of it down there... it kept coming closer and closer... so I have to admit I was okay with walking away quickly. hahaha =)
She LOVES sticking her tongue out now. If you do it to her, she will copy you... so cute!
At Nana and Papa's. She was laying on the floor using my dad's slipper as a pillow...weird kid!
Silly little sideways smirk... SO CUTE!
Found Nana's nose to suck on! We have a picture of Austin doing this to Nana too!
Pretty Sydney!!
Look at how Handsome he is =)
Austin and his Nana
First time eating a cracker!
Playing together. So cute.
Austin wanted a cracker since Sissy had one too.
Petey. He's almost 5 months old now! Time flies!
She got his tail!
She loves pulling on his face, ears, tail... anything she can get her hands on. She thinks it's so funny. Him? Not so much.
Awww, tired girl with her Glow Worm.
With Auntie Chelsea and Uncle Chris.
First fight! I loaded these backwards, sorry!
Austin at the Wenatchee Wild game. He's howling.... too cute
Austin and his Unc. He was soooo into watching the Pre Game.
Grandma, Aunt Deb, and Mom. 3 Beautiful ladies. <3
At the Wild game. Sydney was actually watching!
Pre Game show... lit the ice on fire, and sparks were coming out of the tip of his Hockey stick... pretty cool!
Austin at Papa's basketball game. He got to stand down there and high-five the girls as they ran out onto the court.
Grandma GG with Sydney
Nana making her "grandbrat" giggle
My favorite picture of them. I love it.
Bowling. I win. =)
Austin bowling. When he did it this way, the ball literally went like .5 miles per hour. haha! He loved it though!
She's working on it! Going to be 10 months old this month, and still not really caring to crawl. haha..Spoiled much????? =) *Guilty*
Her hair is long enough for a clip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Baby blues. And yes I forgot to wipe her face. She's a doll.xoxo
k.
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